Growing up in a New Jersey State Troopers home my dad rarely, if ever, encouraged me. It was always clean up your room, you throw like a girl, what did I tell you about cutting the grass, shut the refrigerator door, can't you keep a job. Sometimes I hated going home.
My parents divorced when I was 13 and sometimes I would stay out late at night or over a friends house. When I was 19 I decided to join the USAF. Four years into my enlistment I volunteered to become a drill sergeant in boot camp.
You see, my background leans toward discouragement! JUST ASK MY KIDS!
Even knowing how it feels to receive discouragement I still struggle. I have had to work at this on a daily basis, heck, minute-by-minute is more like it. It is so easy to focus on what other people do wrong and what we do right. The very opposite needs to happen in order to build strong relationships.
We must admire the right choices other people make and expect ourselves to make better choices.
Fortunately I have a wife that can point my blind spots out. Oh do I have blind spots! How do I fight the natural tendency to be critical? Is it possible for someone with my background to change?
More to follow!
3 comments:
Well said. Your story itself is...encouraging. It always helps to be reminded that we aren't always who our parents try to make us. Keep up the encouraging work!
Sara Murphy
President
Propeller LLC
www.dropmyprop.com
Let me share my real experience a little here. 4 years ago I finished university and than got luck to go straight to join a MNC. As a production line supervisor, I was managing 21 people with average experience above 8 years with age average 10 yrs above me. I have no experience at all in management and as leadership. Without any clues, naturally what I was doing at first was to know every body at their best esp. what they are interested in to talk about. And I remember from just a word from leadership book "If people make mistake, try to find find what points in those mistake we can praise him"... Practice day by day as time goes by, relationship is build! I realized that I have earned trusted from my people and was able to access to tricks and improvement ideas which almost all of them were never spoken out before I join the team. When improvement ideas from 20+ people put together, the line operational performance indicator has gone up from 70+% to 90+% which surprise the world group of OpCo and we became the world benchmark line among the group. So far, this record is not beatable!!!
UNFORTUNATELY! after three years of front line leader, senior management decided to removed me! The reason they did this because "They I believe have a very strong relationship with my people"
Well... I was not disappointed! That come to your blog make me realized that at least I have touch one part of being a Great Leader eventhough I have never experience before. Yet, in my yearly appraisal they rate my leadership still low! Was I bother? No, I wasn't!!! As I can compare now on your blog that my manager don't match anything of becoming a great leader... Anyway, this happen all the time in many corporate!
So here I am, my four years! I decide to look for another career opportunity and the reason I want to leave... As on your blog! I am not being appreciated for what I have contributed to the company.
I will come back and read your blogspot more often! It is very interesting and I got it from linkedin.com
Highest regards,
Chan Dy
Cambodia!
Chan Dy,
Thanks for the comment. You sound like a very diligent employee. Let me encourage you by saying way to go. Thanks for appreciating your people enough to talk with them. That is the very first step in building a strong relationship. I hope your career change will find a supervisor worthy of your high character. Please stay in touch as I would like to hear what happens in your future.
Steven
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