How to handle a difficult employee! Part 3 of 3

Restoring the relationship!
Typically, leaders are after changed behavior without realizing the best method to obtain this is by associating the poor decision with the relationship. When you have a strong bond with someone, if either party does something to offend the other, they are naturally disappointed. I might even venture to say they are saddened by the persons choice of "poor" character.
Next we want to get to the root of any disciplinary issues (poor character), or as I like to say, poor choices.
It is just like in the old days when mom asked "what did you do?" and we normally replied, "Susan said, or "David hit me", neither of these responses answered the question. So what did mom say next, "no, what did you do?" until we finally say with our own mouths, "I pinched Mary" or "I said ____ to Mark."
We are at a true mile-stone when the offender can sincerely say, "I lied to you" or "I was wrong in my choice."
Now here is real progress. See what I post next!

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How to handle a difficult employee! Part 2 of 3

Work place correction is to restore a broken or damaged relationship. This is assuming, as mentioned in part 1, that you have a relationship.

Most work place correction steps are not successful because there is nothing to restore. Managers are not communicating with their people. They only expect them to punch in and out and to sweat their brains out in between. This is such a shame and all too common.

I have some questions for every leader out there! Have you ever invited your employee to sit with you, face to face, and ask toask them how they are doing? Do they enjoy their work? How am I doing as their leader? What about family, hobbies, and interest outside of work? This is all to build a stronger relationship. It has to go beyond the office meeting. Day to day leaders need to be in direct contact with their people. Encourage them with verbal support and see how their day is going. A friend once told me that he would ask, "if you were to describe your day in terms of weather, would it be bright sun and warm, cloudy and gray, or freezing snow and ice with no visibility? Much deeper than "how are you?"

Once this has been accomplished we can now get to the business of restoring the relationship after the employee has damaged it in some specific way.

Part 3 of 3 next!

How to handle a difficult employee! Part 1 or 3

I hope you are not reading this for a quick fix. Quick fixes do not endure!

I am about to share a very powerful and successful method but first, you will need to rewind the clock.

Do you know your employees favorite hobby? What about their family background? Do you know where they live? These are small parts of a larger picture. I am talking about your "relationship" with your employee. Do you even have one?

I am amazed how many supervisors know little or nothing about the team that surrounds them. This team is responsible for creating much of the supervisor's success.

The goal of work place corrections is not what most people think.

It is not

• to change the behavior of the person
• to penalize wrong actions
• to fire the person

Even though all of these are potential issues the real purpose of corrections is to "restore" a damaged relationship.

Come back for part two.

Relationship Destroyers?

What is the surest way to destroy a relationship?

Start with little or no communications!

When husbands and wives have an argument the first thing out the window is typically communications. I have had many arguments with my wife. Nearly every one of them was my fault. Even when I realize I am the cause my initial reaction is to stop talking. A matter of fact, there have been times when I felt compelled to walk away and even leave the house.

I had always been told that "time heals all things." Well, what a lie!

The most crucial need is to look at each other and talk. Let the other know what is on your heart and follow the lead of the discussion.

Though you may not come to a reconciliation you have just started the process to repairing your damaged relationship.

This principle works for parents and kids, teachers and students, and yes, managers and employees.

Good Coaches Vanishing - Part 3

Here is another real life story:

My son's and I were watch a basketball tournament. We had great seats in a raised area over looking two courts. About one minute into the games (both started the same time) a woman tapped me on the shoulder. She asked if I wouldn't mind taping one of the games. She actually said, my husband is coaching on this court and we will be playing the winners from the other court. He wants badly to scout their abilities.

I thought it was presumptuous to think they had already won their game and already looking at the next challenger. I decided to help them out by taping the other game.

Somewhere around 2-3 minutes into the game I recognized what type of coach this man was and better understood their request.

While filming their potential challenger I kept hearing this loud, obnoxious, out of control yelling. With one eye on my filming task I would occasionally glance at the other court. Guess who was the source of all the commotion? It was the husband (coach) of the woman that asked me to film the other game.

He was making such a fool of himself that parents, coaches, referees, and sadly the players, were all watching him with shock and dropped jaws. This was so disturbing that I decided to do something about it.

I turned my attention, as well as the filming, toward this loud coach. I started filming him and with my very own commentary. I filmed him during these tirades and better yet, I videoed the faces of the fans, referees, and players.

To this day I wonder what these people thought when they went to their hotel rooms to view the film. Expecting to see scouting footage, they must have been shocked.

Please, coaches, leaders, parents, and authorities in general, stop sending one message with your words and another with your actions. It is better to be consistently bad then inconsistently good!

Good Coaches Vanishing - Part 2

I am so sad for the young athletes today! I continue to experience very poor leadership on the courts and fields of our youth sport leagues.

Even though I only played high school baseball and soccer I would love to coach a team in any sport. I am convinced one thousand percent that 80-90% of the game is heart, the rest is ability. If a coach would just tap into the power of the heart, he or she would be amazing. Dare I even say, another John Wooden!

Here is a real life example of a coach destroying his players hearts.

Post victory at a high school regional championship game, the local newspaper interviewed the winning coach. Bare in mind, this coach is known for his temper, crushing words to players, and general ignorance of the game of basketball.

Here are the words I want to focus on from the interview:


“We played perfect basketball through three quarters, I mean perfect. We played well defensively, and the biggest key was keeping them off the boards, we didn’t give up too many offensive rebounds,” coach said. “But, they were desperate. They started pressing and trapping, and we weren’t getting any fouls, which turned it into a bunch of athletes against non-athletes, basically.”

NON-ATHLETES?????

This is exactly what you say when you want your team, who is about to play the #1 team in the state, to enter the game already defeated.

Here is my big question for the schools Athletic Director - What is your selection process for coaches? To leadership in general, do you realize that your managers are the most powerful people in your organizations? Stop putting poor coaches over great players and bad managers over great people!