How to handle a difficult employee! Part 1 or 3

I hope you are not reading this for a quick fix. Quick fixes do not endure!

I am about to share a very powerful and successful method but first, you will need to rewind the clock.

Do you know your employees favorite hobby? What about their family background? Do you know where they live? These are small parts of a larger picture. I am talking about your "relationship" with your employee. Do you even have one?

I am amazed how many supervisors know little or nothing about the team that surrounds them. This team is responsible for creating much of the supervisor's success.

The goal of work place corrections is not what most people think.

It is not

• to change the behavior of the person
• to penalize wrong actions
• to fire the person

Even though all of these are potential issues the real purpose of corrections is to "restore" a damaged relationship.

Come back for part two.

Relationship Destroyers?

What is the surest way to destroy a relationship?

Start with little or no communications!

When husbands and wives have an argument the first thing out the window is typically communications. I have had many arguments with my wife. Nearly every one of them was my fault. Even when I realize I am the cause my initial reaction is to stop talking. A matter of fact, there have been times when I felt compelled to walk away and even leave the house.

I had always been told that "time heals all things." Well, what a lie!

The most crucial need is to look at each other and talk. Let the other know what is on your heart and follow the lead of the discussion.

Though you may not come to a reconciliation you have just started the process to repairing your damaged relationship.

This principle works for parents and kids, teachers and students, and yes, managers and employees.

Good Coaches Vanishing - Part 3

Here is another real life story:

My son's and I were watch a basketball tournament. We had great seats in a raised area over looking two courts. About one minute into the games (both started the same time) a woman tapped me on the shoulder. She asked if I wouldn't mind taping one of the games. She actually said, my husband is coaching on this court and we will be playing the winners from the other court. He wants badly to scout their abilities.

I thought it was presumptuous to think they had already won their game and already looking at the next challenger. I decided to help them out by taping the other game.

Somewhere around 2-3 minutes into the game I recognized what type of coach this man was and better understood their request.

While filming their potential challenger I kept hearing this loud, obnoxious, out of control yelling. With one eye on my filming task I would occasionally glance at the other court. Guess who was the source of all the commotion? It was the husband (coach) of the woman that asked me to film the other game.

He was making such a fool of himself that parents, coaches, referees, and sadly the players, were all watching him with shock and dropped jaws. This was so disturbing that I decided to do something about it.

I turned my attention, as well as the filming, toward this loud coach. I started filming him and with my very own commentary. I filmed him during these tirades and better yet, I videoed the faces of the fans, referees, and players.

To this day I wonder what these people thought when they went to their hotel rooms to view the film. Expecting to see scouting footage, they must have been shocked.

Please, coaches, leaders, parents, and authorities in general, stop sending one message with your words and another with your actions. It is better to be consistently bad then inconsistently good!

Good Coaches Vanishing - Part 2

I am so sad for the young athletes today! I continue to experience very poor leadership on the courts and fields of our youth sport leagues.

Even though I only played high school baseball and soccer I would love to coach a team in any sport. I am convinced one thousand percent that 80-90% of the game is heart, the rest is ability. If a coach would just tap into the power of the heart, he or she would be amazing. Dare I even say, another John Wooden!

Here is a real life example of a coach destroying his players hearts.

Post victory at a high school regional championship game, the local newspaper interviewed the winning coach. Bare in mind, this coach is known for his temper, crushing words to players, and general ignorance of the game of basketball.

Here are the words I want to focus on from the interview:


“We played perfect basketball through three quarters, I mean perfect. We played well defensively, and the biggest key was keeping them off the boards, we didn’t give up too many offensive rebounds,” coach said. “But, they were desperate. They started pressing and trapping, and we weren’t getting any fouls, which turned it into a bunch of athletes against non-athletes, basically.”

NON-ATHLETES?????

This is exactly what you say when you want your team, who is about to play the #1 team in the state, to enter the game already defeated.

Here is my big question for the schools Athletic Director - What is your selection process for coaches? To leadership in general, do you realize that your managers are the most powerful people in your organizations? Stop putting poor coaches over great players and bad managers over great people!

The "John Wooden's" of the Coaching World are Vanishing!

John Wooden was a master relationship builder. Just take a look at his "Pyramid for Success."

"Competitive Greatness" is at the top but the top must be support by a strong base. Look at the base qualities. It is all about character. Show me a coach doing this today (and there are some) and I will show you a very competitive team.

Where Have All the Good Coaches Gone?

After years of sports with my two sons I have come to the conclusion that 95% of all coaches are very poor at "coaching" people.

First, I am surprised how many coaches don't know the basics of the game they are playing. An example would be basketball. It is critical that your team make a high percentage of free-throws. Why? Every close game is decided by free-throws.

Second, I am blown away by how many coaches have no clue how to treat their young and impressionable players.

Yelling in their faces "you wimp", "that's why you sit the bench" or "sit down and shut up" accomplish only one thing. It closes their heart and breeds disloyalty.

This is such a hot topic in my life right now I plan to continue this thought in the next few posts.

How Do You Improve Your Leadership Skills?

Have you ever worked for a supervisor that thought they knew everything? They are normally the ones that balk at anyone making a suggestion or dare to point out a better way to do something.

It really doesn’t matter what industry you work in whether it is healthcare, manufacturing, public service, law enforcement, or any of the service categories. You can never learn enough.

I guess it might be possible to learn everything about a piece of machinery or about servicing a copier until the next update or model is released. Where most leaders think they have arrived is in their people skills.

Look folks, people have the most updates, revisions, and new models then any piece of equipment or computer, yet this is the most neglected “skill” in every industry in the world.

Understanding how people think, what makes them tick, how to push the right buttons, and more importantly, how not to push the wrong buttons is the key to successful relationships.

I am so thrilled to be working for Character First! This ever changing relational part of leadership is what we specialize in. We are currently working on a motto like “we grow people’ or “transforming the way we do business by transforming the way we do life.”

Look back at many of my posts and you will see the different ways we accomplish this. I do plan to share a more comprehensive version of those posts so keep your eye on this blog.